Separation and New Beginnings

Separation is one of life’s most significant transitions. It can bring a mix of emotions including uncertainty, relief, anxiety and hope, all at once.  As you approach this new chapter, clarity, preparation and support will help you make decisions that protect your children, your finances and your future.

What Makes Separation Challenging?
Breaking up with a partner can feel overwhelming because it often requires confronting complex legal, emotional and practical issues at once. Many people delay thinking about separation for fear of conflict or the unknown. However, understanding your situation early helps you make calm, informed choices rather than reacting under pressure.

A proactive approach can reduce uncertainty, limit emotional strain and help avoid disputes escalating later.

Understanding Your Separation Options
Separation does not have to follow one rigid path. There are several ways you can approach it, depending on your relationship, communication and personal circumstances. These may include:

-Traditional separation or divorce with individual solicitors
-Mediation
-Resolution Together (one solicitor for both parties)
-Trial separation
-Staying together with professional support

Choosing the right approach early can save time, cost and emotional stress.

Talking About Separation Calmly

Having a thoughtful and measured conversation with your partner is often the first step. It can help to:

– Choose a calm moment and private setting
– Focus on practical arrangements rather than blame
– Be clear about what you need to consider next
– Agree to take independent advice if needed

If there are concerns around safety or emotional wellbeing, professional support should be sought immediately.

Putting Children First

Children’s wellbeing should remain central throughout separation. While every family is different, children benefit most when parents communicate respectfully and prioritise stability.

Key considerations include:

– Reassuring children that the separation is not their fault
– Protecting them from adult conflict or legal discussions
– Avoiding asking them to take sides or make adult decisions
– Maintaining routines around school, friendships and activities
– Creating clear and consistent arrangements for time with each parent

Parents are encouraged to focus on what works best for their children both now and in the future, recognising that arrangements may need to adapt as children grow.

Looking After Your Emotional Wellbeing

Separation can bring emotional ups and downs, even where the decision is mutual. It is important to look after yourself during this period.

You may find support through:

– Friends and family
– Counselling or therapy
– Divorce coaches or wellbeing professionals
– Taking time to plan, reflect and adjust

A new year often represents a chance to reset priorities and focus on positive change, allowing space for healing and forward planning.

Practical Financial Considerations

Finances are often one of the most complex aspects of separation. Gaining clarity early can reduce stress and prevent misunderstandings later.

Steps to consider include:

– Identifying all assets and liabilities, including property, savings, pensions and debts
– Understanding individual and joint income and outgoings
– Considering short-term financial arrangements during separation
– Avoiding major financial decisions or changes without legal advice
– Gathering relevant financial documents and records

Clear financial planning helps ensure fair outcomes and supports long-term stability for both parties and any children.

Resolution Together – A New Way Forward

Resolution Together is an innovative and constructive way to resolve separation and divorce for couples who are separating amicably.

It enables a couple to work with one solicitor to reach a final agreement on issues arising from their separation, particularly in relation to financial arrangements. This approach is designed to reduce conflict, encourage transparency and manage costs effectively.

Resolution Together is only suitable where:

– Both parties are comfortable discussing matters openly
– There are no concerns regarding controlling or abusive behaviour
– There are no known legal conflicts of interest

Partner Julie Hobson will meet with each party individually for an initial fixed-fee appointment. The cost of this appointment is £200 plus VAT per person. These meetings allow Julie to assess whether Resolution Together is appropriate for your circumstances.

If, following those meetings, Julie is satisfied that the case is suitable, joint meetings will begin. Resolution Together is charged at an enhanced hourly rate, reflecting that there is one solicitor acting for you as a couple, rather than two separate solicitors and two sets of legal fees.

Julie will also work with you to identify and involve other professionals where helpful, including:

– Mediators
– Financial and pension experts
– Family therapists
– Divorce coaches and other family support services

When to Seek Legal Advice
You do not need to wait for a crisis or a final decision before speaking to a solicitor. Early legal advice can provide reassurance, clarify your options and help you plan confidently.

– It is particularly important to seek advice if:
– Communication has broken down
– Children’s arrangements are unclear or disputed
– Financial matters are complex
– You need help understanding your rights and responsibilities

Contact
Sunita Chauhan s.chauhan@gullands.com or
Julie Hobson j.hobson@gullands.com or
Amanda Finn a.finn@gullands.com for more information.